The List of Things I Should Never Do. Ever Again.

1. Buy software for the computer.

Compatibility, baby. I will never live down buying one of the Roller Coaster Tycoon computer games for 7yo ADHD Phenom, and not being able to get it to work on any of our computers, which are all MAC. Who knew, at this point, that all video games are not equal? (Not the pimply-faced guy I asked at Target, apparently.)

2. Pump up a basketball.

Or anything else for that matter. With the air pump.

KA-BOOM!!!

Not when I was pumping that sucker up with the bicycle pump, trying to get to the 7 lb mark (or what I thought was the 7lb mark) on the little gauge. No, the basketball had to blow like some kind of terrorist bomb while 7yo ADHD Phenom was happily playing with all the after-care kids on the basketball court at the elementary school...I was sitting in the car with 10yo Drama Queen and the rodents ("They're gerbils, Mom!") who are guests in our home for the long, holiday weekend (from the science classroom)...

"My Mommy bought this for me today! Look how HIGH it bounces -- cool, huh?!"

KAAAA-BOOOOMMMM!!!

I kid you not, it sounded like a gunshot. You have never seen fifty people -- kids and adults -- hit the ground so fast. Oh. My. God.

3. ???

I've got five, long days, with cooking and turkeys and stuff. I'm sure I can come up with something...