Spark Your Sexy in 2017

With just a little more than a month to Valentine's Day and the Season of Romance... or, at least, a wonderful week of Hearts, Roses, Wine & deeply-discounted, heart-shaped boxes of fine chocolate (why would you pay full price?!)...

It's the perfect time for a Romantic Resolution for 2017-- Spark Your Sexy!

Keep in mind, you can make any day Valentine's Day...

The #1 Way to Spark Your Sexy...

--> for less than the cost of a fancy cup of coffee!



I am very pleased -- let's say ecstatic -- to report The Rebel Housewife's 101 Sexy & Fun Love Notes, during the recent promo campaign, leaped up in the Amazon ratings, from near-obscurity to #1 and #3 in categories:

#1 in Kindle Store > Kindle Short Reads > 45 minutes (22-32 pages) > Parenting & Relationships
#3 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Marriage

Which is very exciting!

---

With all THAT going on, it has given me pause to reflect on love and romance and relationships... and marriage. It seems incredible and weird and unbelievable that I can say: Prince Charming and I have been married for TWENTY-EIGHT years -- wow -- and still going strong!


Yes, we started off very, very young: I was just 20 and he was 22. It doesn't even seem like that could be possible, then or now -- we're still way too young to be married that long, unruly silver hair (mine) and the accumulation of love and good food (about 20lbs for both of us), notwithstanding.

I have been married now for longer than I was not.

In the beginning, I was the Other Girl and he was the Wrong Boy -- according to my mother, anyway. I liked the motorcycle and his 'Bohemian lifestyle' (living on ramen and mac & cheese on his buddies' laundry porch -- one guy lived on the pool table).

We quickly disentangled ourselves from other relationships in the face of destiny and enjoyed our very own Summer of Love after my high school graduation in 1985. I was very young, at 17, and it took me a year or two to settle down and commit long-term, after enough first-year-college experience and variety to know he was The One. I never expected it to happen so early, but we both just knew (and we were right!).

We married on August 6, 1988, in a garden courtyard on a threatening-to-be-rainy day at our beloved Manor Farm Inn in Poulsbo, Washington, and the Adventure(s) began...

More than a quarter-century and three nearly-grown children later, it still seems so new, to my constant amazement. We still love each other, more every day, and we still like each other, too. I keep thinking, 25+ years into this, I should have some wisdom, the benefit of happily-ever-after experience, advice to share. Besides, you know, marry young and basically Imprint on each other...

People ask us the secret to a long and happy relationship?

For us, it's all about new Adventures and the appreciation of Magical Moments-- to create a life in which there are many of each. It keeps us together, always wondering (in a good way): What's next?!

As for advice, back to basics, the foundation:
The Rebel Housewife: Survival Guides (Surviving Happily Ever After!)
101 Sexy & Fun Love Notes:
Romantic Tips & Tricks to FIRE UP the Passion & Romance in Your Relationship.

"The 101 Love Notes in this ebook are 'quickie' ideas -- fun, easy, realistic, and, in most cases, FREE!!! -- a starting place to spark your sexy, tickle your imagination and creativity, rev up your sense of fun and adventure, and help you develop, with your lover, a lifestyle of romance and passion."

Whether you've been together two years, or twenty, or just starting out, 101 Sexy & Fun Love Notes has something for everyone.

Read, enjoy, have fun -- freely share this article, and, if you would, please take the time to rate the ebook and write a little review on Amazon.com (super-easy-- here's how!). That would be AWESOME.

Live, Love, Laugh & LIGHT IT UP -- HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!



For more fun & behind-the-scenes, connect with The Rebel Housewife on Social Media:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheRebelHousewife
Twitter: @rebelupdate

45 & Pregnant or... Oh.

For the ladies...buckle up, girls, for an inside glimpse of the continuing journey...

45 & Pregnant or... Oh

by Sherri Caldwell - The Rebel Housewife® - All Rights Reserved.
For more information, contact Sherri@RebelHousewife.com

I remember waiting for It to start, in a very Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret kind-of-way, with excitement and growing concern, as all my friends seemed to start before me. I was 13 when It finally happened, and then I wasn't so excited anymore...what a pain!

Thirty-two years later, after the blessing of three healthy children, I suddenly find myself at the other end of the reproductive life cycle, waiting for a period that doesn't seem to be coming. I just hope, at forty-five that it's NOT pregnancy, God forbid; with three teenagers -- we're done! But the other reality, in many ways, is just as disconcerting.

Really? Is that it? Menopause. There, I said it.

WebMD tells us menopause is the stage in a woman’s life when she has not had a menstrual period for one year. That twelve-month transition is called perimenopause, and actually begins much earlier, as the equipment gradually begins to shut down. Perimenopause usually starts in a woman's 40s, but can begin earlier.

How's this for clarity:

"The average length of perimenopause is four years, but for some women this stage may last only a few months or continue for 10 years. Perimenopause ends the first year after menopause (when a woman has gone 12 months without having her period)." -- WebMD Menopause Health Center

Well, now that I may have had it, that last period leading into menopause, it makes me sad that I didn't notice. I wasn't paying attention, and I am suddenly faced with my body shutting itself down and what...getting ready to die?

No, that is more than a little dramatic. Considering the alternative to this situation (pregnancy), there are many positives to menopause. I'm sure...thinking...

Well, for one thing, once the factory shuts down for good, Prince Charming and I can enjoy a spontaneous sex extravaganza (sorry, kids!), without the risk of another baby coming along...that’s sexy, right? (Prince Charming, God love him, assures me it is.)

If you believe those ED commercials, we'll be sexy, silver-haired seniors, humping it up all over the place -- riding motorcycles, sailing exotic locations, taking romantic bubble baths in the middle of the week -- oh!

It's not like I didn't see it coming. Just as my daughter entered her time, with all the resulting mood swings and drama, I noticed changes, enough to think it was ironic: just as she was going through puberty, I was entering the extreme after-puberty, all perfectly normal:

Hot Flashes = Check
Mood Swings = OMG, Check
Difficulty Sleeping = Hello, my 4AM Facebook crowd!

There's more, but you get the idea.

Last year, my OB/GYN said it was "much" too early, but look at my hair -- I am 100% silver. My chiropractor, who, after 16 years, is a good friend and trusted doctor, gave me some herbal horse pills about the same time, in response to my whining, and I am addicted. ProFema™ made those early uncomfortable symptoms abate somewhat, even making the mood swings more, but not completely, manageable. (No, I am not getting paid for that mention!)

You don't miss something until you lose it. I don't miss it, I am just shocked that's where we are now, trying not to feel old and used up. I am Cougar, hear me roar. Meow.

- - -

Update - pregnancy test. I've only had to take a few more in my life than I was prepared for (meaning hoping for positive results). Forty-five years old, with a senior in high school, buying a pregnancy test, as quickly and inconspicuously as possible...peeing on a stick, waiting for lines to appear: two = pregnant, hoping for the single = not pregnant...3 minutes...

Single line, folks. You know what that means -- yay?

Reality TV - Casting Call: MONSTER IN-LAWS

While this would not apply to me, Sherri Caldwell, happily-ever-after daughter-in-law of Ralph & Judi (kiss-kiss!), I have been asked to share what could be a rather...um...unique opportunity for..reality television fame (infamy?)...Check it out:

Hi Sherri,

My name is Lindsay, and I am an associate producer for Leftfield Pictures, the television production company behind History Channel's Pawn Stars, Bravo's Fashion Hunters, and A&E's Monster In Laws.

We are currently casting for the second season of Monster In Laws, a program that looks to repair broken relationships with in-laws that don't see eye to eye. I would love to reach out to moms everywhere who may be struggling with in-law issues...

--------------------------------------------------

“MONSTER IN-LAWS” on A&E Is Now Casting Nationwide

“A ground-breaking new series that explores the complex relationships between married couples and their in-laws.”

Are you struggling to maintain a relationship with an out-of-control in-law?

Is a cultural or background divide challenging your relationship?

Does the statement, “When mom/dad says no, ask grandma/grandpa” ring true in your family?

Does your mother or father-in-law still baby your husband/wife, challenge your parenting style or openly disrespect you?

If you’re desperate to repair your relationship with an in-law before it’s too late, we want to hear from you! Families who appear on the show will have the opportunity to work with a professional relationship expert who will help them to identify their issues and repair their relationships. Families who appear on the show will receive a financial honorarium as a “thank you” for their time and commitment to the show. In addition, we offer a finder's fee for anyone who nominates a family that appears on the show.

[Note: The Rebel Housewife has not nominated anyone and has not/will not receive consideration of any kind for posting this or from the link below. This was too good not to share!]

[Also Note: However, if any one of you end up being on this show, I better be the first to know and to interview you about it!! GOOD LUCK, REBELS!]

To apply, please fill out a brief casting questionnaire:
http://www.leftfieldpictures.com/in-laws-casting/

--
Lindsay Goyette
Associate Producer
Leftfield Pictures
212-564-2607, ext. 2399
518-522-2304 cell
212-967-7573 fax
lindsay.goyette@leftfieldpictures.com

www.facebook.com/TheRebelHousewife

Happily Ever After - Twenty Years

Today marks TWENTY YEARS as an old married couple, for me and hubby. Yes, we started off very, very young: I was just 20 and he was 22. It doesn't even seem like that could be possible, then or now -- we're still way too young to be married that long, unruly silver hair (mine) and the accumulation of love and good food (about 20lbs for both of us) notwithstanding.

I have been married now for as long as I was not.

In the beginning, I was the Other Woman (at 20, remember) and he was the Wrong Man -- according to my mother, anyway. I liked the motorcycle and his 'bohemian' lifestyle (living on ramen and mac & cheese in his buddies' laundry porch -- one guy lived on the pool table). We quickly disentangled ourselves from other relationships in the face of Destiny and enjoyed our very own Summer of Love after my high school graduation in 1985. I was very young, at 17, and it took me a year to settle down and commit to monogamy long-term, with enough first-year-college experience and variety to know he was The One. I never expected it so early, but I just knew.

We met in 1981, the first day in my first class of high school: Horticulture. He was a sophomore. We were friends from the start, but never dated -- fortunately, we avoided the cliche of high school sweethearts (not that there is anything wrong with that, of course).

We married on August 6, 1988, in a garden courtyard on a threatening-to-be-rainy day at our beloved Manor Farm Inn in Poulsbo, Washington, and the Adventure(s) began...

Twenty years later, it still seems so new, to my constant amazement. We still love each other, more every day, and we still like each other, too. I keep thinking, twenty years into this, I should have some wisdom, the benefit of happily-ever-after experience, advice to share; besides, you know, marry young and basically Imprint on each other. People ask us the secret to a long and happy relationship?

For one thing, we have a strong role model of a successful, happy, passionate marriage in his parents, the 'evil in-laws,' (they call themselves that -- yes, it's a joke) who are still happy in love, sailing (I should say RV'ing) towards 50 years, and they seem so young. We have the counter-balance, anti-model in my parents, who divorced after a tempestuous few years together when I was just four years old. Raised by my hard-working, single mother, I never knew what to expect in a marriage, so it has been a continuing pleasant surprise all these years later, after I finally figured out he really wasn't going to leave -- that took six years, before we had our first child in 1995.

Of course, it's not all roses and candle-light. We have our bad moments/days and stupid mistakes. There are times, especially after three kids, when it seems as if we are just living, making a living, getting by day-to-day, and it's sometimes not very exciting; occasional bad days when the best you can do is get to bed early and start over the next day, a new day, fresh. It has only been recently that we learned to appreciate NOW, the present moment, instead of living constantly in the future. If it's a not-so-great Now, we believe in the grand scheme of things, the fairy tale and This Too Shall Pass. There are many, many more good days than bad, especially when you are playing as a team.

I guess I do have a couple of practical tips to offer, after twenty years of happily-ever-after:

1. Love each other first.
2. Value and protect time together, whatever it takes.
3. Grow together, not apart. (Recall the whole NASCAR adventure recently, which I tried to embrace for his sake -- and I've come around to it, too. Something new and exciting we can figure out and enjoy together, even if it means dirt camping in a tent outside of Talladega, Alabama...which brings me to my final point:)
4. ADVENTURE!!!

Hubby and I both had cause to review the timeline of our first twenty years before the Anniversary. As a surprise, he had a book made, of photos and our "story" -- it is beautiful, and made me cry, and it is the best gift I have ever received. I didn't understand, until he gave me the book, why he was being so gushy and nostalgic on me, all of a sudden, but then I quickly got all gushy and nostalgic, too.

Looking through it all, twenty years of our life together, the theme of our marriage became very obvious. As hubby said, in his book: "Willing to set out on adventure at the drop of a hat is one of your best qualities." I'm only that way because he is, too. As we look back over twenty years, we can identify, and re-live, no less than 20 Great Adventures, some just a week long (trips to Europe, the Caribbean, and cruises), some adventures extend many years (having children, moving across country, starting new companies and business ventures, launching The Rebel Housewife).

For us, it's all about Adventures and the appreciation of Magical Moments; to create a life where there are many of each. It keeps us together, always wondering (in a good way): What's next?

Adventures of a Marriage

From the mention in Happily Ever After - Twenty Years, for those of you who wanted to know:

Looking through it all, twenty years of our life together, the theme of our marriage became very obvious. As hubby said, in his book: "Willing to set out on adventure at the drop of a hat is one of your best qualities." I'm only that way because he is, too. As we look back over twenty years, we can identify, and re-live, no less than 20 Great Adventures, some just a week long (trips to Europe, the Caribbean, and cruises), some adventures extend many years (having children, moving across country, starting new companies and business ventures, launching The Rebel Housewife)...

Twenty years, no less than 20 Great Adventures:

1. Cruise #1 - Honeymoon (1988)
2. College graduation & Cross-country trip/move to Florida
3. Building our first house in Melbourne, FL
4. Move to Atlanta (1994)
5. Baby #1 - Zachary Aaron (1995)
6. Cruise #2 w/a two-year-old - USANA/Zach's Birthday
7. Starting a company: InfoWave Technologies/Novient
8. Baby #2 - Haleigh Kate (1997)
9. Trip to Germany - business/pleasure
10. Cruise #3 w/two kids - Mexico
11. Business-related trip to London - party at Annabelle's
12. Building a mini-mansion & Movin' on up to Buckhead - eve of IPO
13. Cruise #4 w/two kids - Caribbean
14. Baby #3 - Tiger Scott (2000)
15. Business Club (FUN) trip w/company to Jamaica
16. Walking away from Novient (2002)
17. The Rebel Housewife
18. Starting over/company #2: Emcien
19. Worst Year Ever (2005) - The Storm/Re-build
20. Urban Pioneers
21. ...no telling what's next...