Escape From Suburbia

ESCAPE FROM SUBURBIA
by Sherri Caldwell - The Rebel Housewife®
http://www.rebelhousewife.com


The suburbs offered one form of happily-ever-after; but, at a certain point, we had to get out.

As far as suburbs go, "Stepford of the South" was very nice: big houses, two-and-even-three-car garages, enormous lawns. It was like having your own private park, front and back. Of course, the front yard was for show, purely ornamental. The back yard was for living.

Not that anyone wanted or needed privacy. Stepford was a community, a haven for People Like Us, with families and neighbors destined to become Friends For Life. It was written into the sales contract, and the neighborhood bylaws.

After all, we paid extra for upscale family storage. The corporate bosses of our hard-working commuter dads paid well to keep the family far enough away, with a large enough mortgage and household expenses, to ensure job dedication and healthy separation.

Every Monday, the husbands went to work. The children went to school. The wives kept house, shopped, socialized and maintained a busy schedule of community and school-related commitments, basically running the world from their designated PTA regiments.

In the afternoon, the children came home, briefly, and were then carpooled to their various activities. Dinner was inevitably a la drive-thru. The husbands came home late and scrounged for leftovers. Exhausted from the daily round, bedtime came early, after homework and school projects. Repeat through Friday.

The weekends were sacrificed to the Gods of Lawn Care-- Olympics-worthy competition amongst the men, all weekend, every weekend.

My Prince Charming became a commuting, work-in-the-city, weekend-lawn-warrior stranger. When I realized I was spending far more quality time with my crazy neighbor, a doctor’s wife, than my own husband, the suburban fairytale started to break down.

The big, roomy house with lots of space became too much to maintain, to clean, to keep track of young people and family pets. I realized I hadn’t seen my middle child for five years in this mausoleum.

As for the lawn... You know, the city offers and maintains municipal parks. They are generally bigger and better-equipped. And you don’t have to feed every random child who wanders through.

Friends For Life and People Like Us had been selling points, but who can stand their own company interminably, without any variety? We began to plot our escape. From Soccer Moms and Minivans, to the diversity of the city, where we belonged.

The stranger we called Daddy transformed from an exhausted commuter/weekend warrior to a healthy, happy and involved father who walks to work and is home every night for dinner. All of a sudden, he’s always there, where and when he hadn’t been before. While it takes some getting used to, we got out just in time.

--- Sherri Caldwell, The Rebel Housewife®, is an author, columnist and reviewer at www.RebelHousewife.com. After many years as a PTA Mom in the suburbs, she now lives happily-ever-after with her husband, three teenagers, and Mocha-the-Dog, in a midtown high-rise in Atlanta, Georgia.

CALDWELL GRADUATES NAVY BASIC TRAINING

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
08/23/2013

Zachary Aaron Caldwell, son of Russ & Sherri Caldwell of Midtown Atlanta, and a 2013 graduate of Henry W. Grady High School, recently completed Navy Boot Camp at the U.S. Navy Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes, Illinois.

Seaman Caldwell successfully completed the eight-week program of intensive training, which culminated in the twelve-hour, overnight exam, Battle Stations 21, aboard the USS Trayer, the Navy's high-tech disaster simulator (as featured on CNN).

Because of his previous JROTC leadership experience at Grady High School, Caldwell served as his Division #313 AROC - Asst Recruit Chief Petty Officer, 2nd in command, during Boot Camp.

He was promoted in the last week of Basic Training and led his Division #313 as RPOC - Recruit Chief Petty Officer, 1st in Command, in the formal Pass In Review Graduation Ceremony on 23 August 2013. There were 871 graduating Sailors in 11 divisions on that date.

Seaman Caldwell reported to the Center for Information Dominance - Corry Station, Pensacola, Florida, on 24 August 2013 to begin 22 weeks "A School" Training as an Information Systems Technician (IT).

Where Is Your Kid Going To College?

"Where Is Your Kid Going To College?"

The #1 most-often-asked question, as your child approaches his/her senior year of high school. Here it is, people, Part 1 of a new series in our continuing adventure on RebelHousewife.com: NAVY MOM.



My son is going into the Navy. He graduated from high school in May, and left for Basic Training, at Great Lakes Naval Recruit Training Center, outside of Chicago, just 30 days later. I am so proud of him, so excited for him, and I experienced such surprising devastation as the time came, and we handed our 18-year-old son over to the U.S. Military.

This is a kid who has never loved the academic aspects of school, although he is very bright and highly technical. If he could have earned his high school diploma in Mythbuster’s Science, MAKE Magazine, technology, video games, and taking things apart, he would have been a 4.0 student. Upon graduation, with decent grades, he just wanted to GO -- get out of Georgia! -- BE and DO. He is ready for adventure, and after the 13-year slog through public education...GO, Zac, GO!

His interest in the military was a surprise to us. He enrolled in the high school JROTC program after a presentation about elective choices in 8th grade. At the time, he was stumbling and grumbling through the dark tunnel of puberty -- a good kid, but for a year or two there, between 13 and 15, he lived furtively in his room or out in the wild, with not much to say to the parents. (It was such a relief when he turned 16 and emerged from the tunnel into a much more pleasant and interactive young man. What finally brought him out? He wanted to get his driver’s license and drive our car.)

During that angsty time, I think the structure and discipline of the military, the community and brotherhood, attracted him in a way that 15 years of attempted structure and discipline at home, obviously, had not.

We didn’t hear too much about JROTC in 9th grade. Granted, he still wasn’t talking much, at that point. In 10th grade, things started to get serious. He kept his hair cut short and got up earlier than he even knew the day existed to run and work out. He was careful to arrange his schedule to show up for events and activities. He participated in all the extra-curriculars: Raiders, Drill Team, Rifle Team, parades, charity drives, academic competitions, community service. He asked us to help out, and by the end of 10th grade, we had become the JROTC Mom & Dad for 180 cadets: driving to meets and practices, cheering them on, providing field support (FOOD) at weekend competitions, and organizing Honors & Award Ceremony receptions (FOOD).

During that sophomore year, his high school JROTC program had strong student leadership, with two of the leaders earning full-ride scholarships to West Point Military Academy. Under that impressive example, Zac started taking JROTC even more seriously.

By 11th grade, he earned his commendation in the Saber Day Ceremony and became a cadet staff officer. His best friend, a fellow JROTC cadet leader, graduated that year and Zac was very interested and impressed with his friend’s direction: Having earned a full four-year scholarship with the Georgia National Guard, he went to Army Basic & Advanced Training that summer/fall, and then started college full-time in January. He will get paid, actually, on top of tuition and expenses, all through college for his Weekend Warrior service, and graduate as an officer.

In Zac’s Senior year, he was Cadet LT COL Caldwell, Battalion Commander in charge of the Grady High School unit. Under his leadership, they earned high honors throughout the year and were awarded #1 Army JROTC in Atlanta Public Schools. He was really good at this military stuff!

He seriously contemplated his future, worked really hard in JROTC and in school, still managing to have enough fun, and get into enough trouble, to fully enjoy his senior year. He started on college applications and the ROTC scholarship process. He scored very highly on the ASVAB, the military entrance test, and felt he did much better on the ASVAB than the SATs.

Ultimately, he decided to enlist. He wanted to GO, BE, and DO -- and figured, realistically, college could wait.

After four years in the ARMY JROTC program, immersed in the brotherhood of the ARMY; three summers at ARMY JROTC summer camp at Fort Benning in Columbus, Georgia; and with the best friend going ARMY -- we were worried. Although neither my husband nor I served in the military, we are both from Navy families -- his Dad was career Navy and my Dad was a Marine. We both grew up on and near Navy bases around the world. We are WATER people.

We attended a Visitor’s Day during one of Zac’s summer camps at Fort Benning -- in June. It was a hot, dusty, dirty level of hell (with apologies to the Army people). While we were exuberant in our support of the military, we tried to be subtle about our preferences. After Visitor’s Day, I pointed out to him, subtly, of course, that every Navy base I had ever been on had been so clean, so well-run, so modern -- ON THE WATER, beautiful beaches!!! Subtle.

He gave it a lot of thought and talked to a lot of people: his JROTC instructors, family, mentors, friends. He asked us to come along when he talked to both the Army and the Navy recruiters. He really did his research...

He chose NAVY!!! (Thank You, Sweet Little Baby Jesus!) With his ASVAB score, he was able to choose, and contract for, an IT career path, with a top security clearance and a six-year commitment (because of the extra schooling required for the rating).

Funny thing is, after 8 weeks’ Basic Training at Great Lakes, he goes to Pensacola, Florida for 22 weeks -- in school! (Hopefully, IT school will be more Mythbusters & MAKE Magazine than academics?) He will have his great adventure on the sea, but he’ll begin working toward his college degree -- and getting paid! -- at the same time. After his first year or two of active duty, he will have the opportunity to apply for college programs. The Navy will take him off active duty to finish his degree, he can go through Officer Training and finish his career as a "Mustang" (enlisted-turned-officer).

All in good time. This kid needs a year or two...or four, even, if that’s what he wants. There is plenty of time for college and serious girlfriends, a wife, babies and everything else. Better to have his adventure now, before all of that.

OF COURSE I worry about my son in the military -- how could I not? But in my Mom’s heart, I know this is the perfect plan for my GO, BE, DO, active son...

And I could not be more proud of him.

Happy Mother's Day! $25 & Under

Happy Mother's Day! $25 & Under - Part One

by Sherri Caldwell - The Rebel Housewife®
http://www.rebelhousewife.com


As a Mom, I could easily rattle off a dozen ways, and more, in which I could be fabulously gifted on Mother's Day for under $25. (In response to a challenge from NerdWallet -- this is probably not what they had in mind, but there you go. I appreciate the great suggestion and motivation to do a Mother's Day blog post this year!)

Here's a Quickie: FIVE Best Gifts Under $25 For Mom:

1. A BOOK (my most-favorite thing!) or gift card to Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. Specific suggestion? Shameless plug: Rebel Housewife Rules: To Heck With Domestic Bliss! or anything by Erma Bombeck -- trust me, she'll love it.
   
2. Lunch at my favorite restaurant. You do know Mom's favorite restaurant, right? (This Mom's is La Fonda Latina - Atlanta).
   
3. Candles/Flowers (preferably plants) - so many choices! Check this out:
   Candles (BBW) -- Ooh, how 'bout them candles? (LOVE those flameless ones for outside!)
   
4. CHOCOLATE -- and not the cheap stuff you can buy in the check-out lane at the grocery store; at least go to the candy aisle and get some decent truffles. Look for Lindt LINDOR Assorted Chocolate Truffles. Yum.
   
5. Jewelry -- watches, earrings, bracelets/anklets, oh my! -- Amazon Jewelry Sale.
   My top picks -- and, coincidentally, Happy Mother's Day to ME:
   
   

There you go...easy! Now, if you want to go super-special, under-under $25, check Part Two for some other thoughts and ideas:

Happy Mother's Day! $25 & Under - Part Two

Mother's Day: Thru the Years

As a new mother, 18 years ago, for my first and five-or-so subsequent Mother's Days, I needed nothing more than TIME -- for myself. The greatest imaginable gift for those early, blissful, exhausted Mother's Days would have been a coupon book or certificate of offerings from friends, family, husband, neighbors...anyone...TIME: an offer to change a diaper; baby's hour out; nap-time for Mommy; Date Night w/Daddy; 15 minutes to go to the bathroom or take a shower; a delivered meal. All free, or nearly so, but of inestimable worth to the new Mommy. (Of course, jewelry is always appropriate, especially birth-stone jewelry or mother's jewelry -- or diamonds, always perfect! Not necessarily under $25, or under-under, but I digress...)

Five years later (noting I had three children, age five & under, at this point), I treasured every toddler and kid-made arts & crafts symbol of love: the macaroni necklaces, handpainted plant pots; "stained glass" paper creations, thumbprint-decorated cardstock photo frames, ceramic handprints in clay. If my kids slapped glue and glitter paint on a stick, I loved it. I can still visualize those precious gifts, wrapped in simple tissue paper, so eagerly given by those little hands, the super-big-hugs. I still have many of those wonderful, priceless gifts.

As the mother of teenagers, 13 years later, there is a cat's-in-the-cradle aspect to everything, and the ideal gift is TIME -- with my kids. Appreciation. "I love you, Mom." A family dinner at home (without having to cook or clean up after) -- "you take it easy today, Mom." A kid who might pick up their own dirty clothes, turn their own stinky socks rightside out, even run a load of laundry -- woo! Another excellent idea for teenagers: help Mom with the TECHNOLOGY! Set up a ringtone for her; show her how to download and listen to music she would actually like, or a cool app; figure out for her why it's making that noise, or that light keeps flashing, or why it won't do what I want it to (whatever it is).

As a Mom, I can tell you-- Mother's Day does not need to be expensive or extravagant -- truly, it shouldn't be -- to be special. How these 18 years slipped away so quickly, I don't know. Everyone said they would, and they were right.

So relax.

The happiest Mother's Days are completely free: "I love you, Mom. Thank you."
I need to go get a nose-wipie (Kleenex) now...
Happy, Happy Mother's Day - Make it Special.

Family Cruising - Risk & Reward

Family Cruising - Risk & Reward

by Sherri Caldwell - The Rebel Housewife® - All Rights Reserved.

For more information, contact sherri@rebelhousewife.com.




It happens every time?!?!



December 2011: We got back home on Christmas Day from a fantastic five-night family cruise adventure on Royal Caribbean’s Liberty of the Seas from Fort Lauderdale, Florida to Haiti and Jamaica. Three weeks later, we were horrified to see twenty-four hour news coverage of the Carnival (parent company) Costa Concordia disaster -- the huge luxury liner (so similar to the one we had just been on) ran aground, fell over and partially sank off the coast of Italy. Captain’s error was ultimately found responsible, compounded by uncoordinated and chaotic emergency response and rescue procedures. With 4,200 lives aboard, 32 were lost.

In spite of the risks and dangers brought home by that cruise disaster, the success of our first family cruise led to our second cruise, one year later. We cruised again, because, as it turns out, cruising is, for our family of five, the perfect family vacation with teenagers. And, as my husband points out, it is still safer than the results of an airplane mishap 30,000 feet in the air.

December 2012: We enjoyed an incredible seven-night cruise on the Norwegian Star: New Orleans to Costa Maya, Mexico; to Belize; to Roatan, Honduras; and Cozumel. Our second cruise was near-perfect, with the exception of bad weather, severe wind and high waves in Cozumel, forcing cancellation of all water excursions, including our underwater mini-sub adventure. It seemed like a disaster at the time, albeit a small one, quickly remedied by riding out the storm in port at Señor Frog’s Cozumel, drinking (sodas)(of course)(for the kids, anyway), noshing chips & salsa and playing UNO™.

Perhaps we tempted fate, as we landed in Cozumel on 12/21/12 -- the last day of the Mayan calendar and, some believed, maybe the “End of The World.” All was well, even with big ocean swells all the way back from Cozumel. On the Norwegian Star, cruise staff were well-prepared and took care of sea-sick passengers, dispensing free Dramamine at Guest Services and strategically placing barf-bags throughout the ship. They closed off access to the pool deck and the exterior walkways to prevent mishap. All was well.

We got back December 23rd, to be home in time for Christmas 2012. Eight weeks later, a new cruise disaster captivated the media’s attention and airtime, after an engine room fire on the Carnival Triumph disabled the ship 175 miles off the Yucatan Peninsula. Ultimately, the ship was pushed (slowly) by tug boats into port in Mobile, Alabama. The 4,000 cruise passengers and employees suffered 5 long days of horror without power, in the heat and darkness, low on food and with deplorable sanitary conditions, as toilets overflowed. No one died, but no one would argue this would have been a truly miserable vacation.

Will this stop us from cruising?

No one died. People have survived much worse, for much longer: in captivity, hijackings, pirates, surviving the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in the Super Dome in New Orleans. All of the cruise ship passengers will be compensated for their Vacation From Hell.

It helps to know the realistic risks and what you might do to avoid or survive in a similar set of circumstances. Believe me, it’s something we have talked about, more than two times.

What could you do? What do we do?

Family Cruising: SAFETY PRECAUTIONS

1. Reserve outside cabins above -- well above -- the water level.
   
   
2. Take the first-day lifeboat drill and emergency instruction seriously, as a family.
   
   
3. Know where you are supposed to go, in the event of an emergency, and know where everybody is onboard the ship and how to find each other. (Your particular “Muster Station” is indicated on your key card, which you carry with you at all times, even the kids.)
   
   
4. Stay calm and do the best you can. Help others. Make a bad situation better.
   
   
5. Never cruise on Carnival? (I have, but it was 25 years ago, on a very old ship -- never again, since.)

Easier said than done, maybe. But yes, we’ll cruise again. We are already making plans for December 2013. Our biggest concern is choosing between Royal Caribbean and Norwegian Cruise Lines...in our experience, we felt completely safe and prepared for emergencies (as much as you can be), on both of our family cruise adventures. We can hardly wait to cruise again.