Escape From Suburbia

ESCAPE FROM SUBURBIA
by Sherri Caldwell - The Rebel Housewife®
http://www.rebelhousewife.com


The suburbs offered one form of happily-ever-after; but, at a certain point, we had to get out.

As far as suburbs go, "Stepford of the South" was very nice: big houses, two-and-even-three-car garages, enormous lawns. It was like having your own private park, front and back. Of course, the front yard was for show, purely ornamental. The back yard was for living.

Not that anyone wanted or needed privacy. Stepford was a community, a haven for People Like Us, with families and neighbors destined to become Friends For Life. It was written into the sales contract, and the neighborhood bylaws.

After all, we paid extra for upscale family storage. The corporate bosses of our hard-working commuter dads paid well to keep the family far enough away, with a large enough mortgage and household expenses, to ensure job dedication and healthy separation.

Every Monday, the husbands went to work. The children went to school. The wives kept house, shopped, socialized and maintained a busy schedule of community and school-related commitments, basically running the world from their designated PTA regiments.

In the afternoon, the children came home, briefly, and were then carpooled to their various activities. Dinner was inevitably a la drive-thru. The husbands came home late and scrounged for leftovers. Exhausted from the daily round, bedtime came early, after homework and school projects. Repeat through Friday.

The weekends were sacrificed to the Gods of Lawn Care-- Olympics-worthy competition amongst the men, all weekend, every weekend.

My Prince Charming became a commuting, work-in-the-city, weekend-lawn-warrior stranger. When I realized I was spending far more quality time with my crazy neighbor, a doctor’s wife, than my own husband, the suburban fairytale started to break down.

The big, roomy house with lots of space became too much to maintain, to clean, to keep track of young people and family pets. I realized I hadn’t seen my middle child for five years in this mausoleum.

As for the lawn... You know, the city offers and maintains municipal parks. They are generally bigger and better-equipped. And you don’t have to feed every random child who wanders through.

Friends For Life and People Like Us had been selling points, but who can stand their own company interminably, without any variety? We began to plot our escape. From Soccer Moms and Minivans, to the diversity of the city, where we belonged.

The stranger we called Daddy transformed from an exhausted commuter/weekend warrior to a healthy, happy and involved father who walks to work and is home every night for dinner. All of a sudden, he’s always there, where and when he hadn’t been before. While it takes some getting used to, we got out just in time.

--- Sherri Caldwell, The Rebel Housewife®, is an author, columnist and reviewer at www.RebelHousewife.com. After many years as a PTA Mom in the suburbs, she now lives happily-ever-after with her husband, three teenagers, and Mocha-the-Dog, in a midtown high-rise in Atlanta, Georgia.

Happy New Year 2009

Sorry I've been away so long - walking the fine line of sanity with life and events, as I guess we all sometimes do. I am waiting for this particular season of my life to transition into the next, and get through stuff, at the same time trying to be present and enjoy every moment of the journey along the way.

On a good note: Ask and you shall receive!
Back at Thanksgiving, I mentioned my house v. condo angst...lo and behold, and long story short, on January 15th, we moved into a terrific three bedroom condo in Midtown Atlanta, right across the street from Piedmont Park (our Central Park). This is such a wonderful thing, and we could all live happily-ever-after, at least for a year or two on lease, if everything else would just settle down for a minute--

Hello, U.S. & World Economy?!?!
But I don't even want to go there, today -- keeping blogs shorter, remember?

On not-such-a-good-note: Feeling the Sandwich
I think upon our 40th birthday, if you have living parents and children, too, we instantly and automatically become a full member of the Sandwich Generation, which I'd heard about, but to which I had not given much thought. Alas, that's all I've been thinking about for the last month:

My mom had a massive heart attack on February 5th, and a stroke, too. Fortunately, she is here with us in Atlanta. She was in the hospital for a month, until she was moved to a nursing home last week for active rehab - so the nursing home should be temporary, although still likely to be six to eight weeks. We don't know what happens after that, whether she will be able to go back to independent living in her own apartment or whether a transition is coming. Every day of this, I have been trying not to worry too far ahead, because there is just so much we don't know yet.

She is only 73 years old, as of last Friday, and she survived a miracle. I hold onto that and just do the next thing, whatever that is. It has been difficult to balance the needs of my mother and my family at home: my husband, our three children, even the dog. Everything else is kind of on hold right now, and that's okay - it's a season.

That's why I haven't been around much, but I'm trying to get back.

Thanksgiving 2008 - In the House

Happy Thanksgiving! Hope you are all stuffed and familied and shopped to your heart's content after the long weekend - I can't believe it's over! And that we have only 24 days until Christmas!!

Last year, we enjoyed Thanksgiving in the tower, figuring out how to make Thanksgiving Dinner from the Publix DVD and discovering, in the Thanksgiving Recap: Lego, Yes; House-in-a-Box, NO.

I have to tell you, eight months in the fabulous house out of our midtown hi-rise condo...I really, really, really miss the tower!! That's maybe a whole 'nother story for another time, but I am so ready to go back, anytime, anyhow. (We are currently searching for a 3BR condo, seriously.)

In the lovely house, we have squirrels in the attic, and bugs everywhere, and landscaping/home maintenance issues -- let's not even talk about the POOL; leaves falling everywhere; garbage cans we have to take up & down the driveway, instead of just down the hall to the chute...what else? More room, yes; but more to clean and organize. A front yard and a backyard and four exits instead of just one, but we can't just lock up and leave and not have to worry about anything -- security, I miss that the most. And our Concierges. And our close neighbors and community. And the Publix in the basement. And everything within walking distance, including hubby's office and we need another car, but don't want to buy one...so we're looking (for a condo, not a car).

I am completely off-track to what I had intended here, so I'll close this one and blog another subject for tomorrow. But if you happen to know of any very nice, 3BR/2+Bath condos For Lease in Midtown Atlanta, please let me know ASAP!!

WP Affair: Wal-Mart, Target & Wii

From my time away on Wordpress.com:

So I was at the new Wal-Mart in Atlanta today...I know, I know what I said yesterday, but there you go. I was on a Wii mission, and I was just hoping maybe no one else inside the City of Atlanta shops at Wal-Mart either, because we're all so Urban Cool and Target has such a lock on the market inside The Perimeter (I285, which goes around Metro Atlanta, and forms a very distinct Urban/Suburban, ITP/OTP chasm-which-should-not-be-crossed, for those of us who live, work & play on the Inside).

But Target's got no Wii. Nor does Best Buy, EB Games, or anywhere else Inside. I'm going to have to go back up to Dahlonega, just to get stuff for this Wii.

I ended up going over there anyway, to my favorite Target in the new Edgewood Shopping District. No luck on the Wii, but I picked up a storage shelf, a shoe rack, and some great spring/summer shorts & tees for my daughter...so I've got stuff I should be doing.

The Internet search begins for Wii Play w/controller; another controller; and the other little do-hickey thing that you can Box with, but only if both players have the do-hickey thing, and the Wii only comes with one do-hickey and one controller. What's up with that?!

WP Affair: No School Today

From my time away on Wordpress.com:

Today is a Teacher Planning Day (end of the quarter, filling out those Report Cards!), so the kids are home from school, and it is a rainy, gray day in Atlanta. I sent The Girl (age 9) off to work with Daddy for a couple of hours, which is one of the huge benefits of living in a Midtown hi-rise right across the street from DH's office -- we love the Live, Work & Play urban development concept!

I never signed on to become a Suburban Housewife with a Commuter Daddy, especially with 3 kids. I'd take my Concierge and 10th-floor balconies any day over home maintenance and gardening. I could go on and on about the benefits of urban living, but the biggest benefit is having DH/Daddy right across the street, especially (but not just!) on Teacher Planning Days.

I do, however, have to get off my computer at the moment, so that my Young Son (age 6) can get on to Webkinz and check on his cyber-animal. Big responsibility, you know, and his big brother, Older Son (age 12) is hogging the "kid's computer" to play Runescape online with his friends, who are also home from school today, playing on the computer. I remember when we just laid around and watched cartoons all day...